Thursday, April 5, 2012

A Pining and Plagiarizing Prissy


Well I can tell you all the cluckies are in a chatter this week here on the Shawhan farm with Easter quickly approaching! They feel special being connected to such a symbolic holiday... I'll save more of that for Sunday's post! However, the ladies were a little offended when I told them I had bought my eggs from good old Kroger's. They wondered why I demand so much of them when I go out and spend my hard earned dollar on something I can get for free at home. I think I also hurt their feelings when I said a white egg would color better than a brown egg...

Speaking of hurt feelings....Prissy has her tail feathers all in a twist! We all know how big her crush is on my husband...well you can just imagine how she felt when she saw Dan cooing over a younger, hotter chick. Yep.. none other than Hot Lips Houlihan herself...the Prissy 2.0 of Flock 2.

Even I have been witness to Dan's oohing and awing over the brooder filled with cute chirping fluffiness. At first no one seemed to mind. Even Prissy can't ignore the cuteness of a baby chick. But when those chicks develop their big girl feathers and start to resemble a chicken...that is when the dark clouds filled Prissy's world of rainbows and sunshine and days of running through the pasture hand in wing with MY husband. Now she has to watch her heart's desire loving on a fast growing woman through the bars of the kennel with crocodile tears streaming down her face.

Not long ago I stumbled out the door well before the you-know-what crack of dawn to go milk cows. Since I'm only half with it that early in the morning, I figured that maybe my alarm really hadn't gone off yet and that I was just dreaming I was pulling out of my driveway and seeing a black and white speckled chicken standing at the end of it in my headlights. She had a small bag packed with whatever a chicken would pack and had her wing stuck up out in the air.

"Prissy?" I asked. Why not...I'm just dreaming anyway, right?
"What do you want?" She asked.
I shrugged, not sure what to say. I wonder if it's only midnight and I still have four more hours to sleep? "What are you doing?"
"I'm hitchhiking. What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Oh." Hmmmm "Where are going?"
"Nashville. I have a song and a broken heart. I'm going to make it big."
I tried hard not to laugh out loud. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Not much traffic out at 5:00 in the morning. I can take you as far as the farm."
"Thank you. That would be much appreciated."

I thought to myself, This is one bogus dream. It's pretty life-like too. Maybe I shouldn't eat popcorn right before bed anymore...

Once we got strapped in the truck and were heading down the road I asked, "So you've got a song? I've written a few know I like to write?"
"No. I didn't know that." Prissy said quickly, shifting in her seat.
"Yeah, so as one artist to another, I'd love to hear your song." I said.
She was silent for a minute, like she had to think it over. "Well...OK. It's about a man who broke my heart and it goes a little something like this.

'When he was around, my world started spinning,
For the rest of my life, it was only the beginning.
And I lost my heart the day I heard him say,
'Cowboys love em and leave em, but a country boy stays..."

At this point this "dream" I was having was too weird even for one of MY dreams. Prissy's song was starting to sound EXACTLY like the one I wrote called...fitting enough, "He Was a Country Boy". For the heck of it, I let her go on.

"He wore a ratty ball cap, not a Stetson hat,
His boots were Wolverines, not a leather sheen.
Never sported a buckle, he wore no belt at all,
Drove a Dodge that was diesel, loud and tall..."

At this point I had slammed on my brakes and stopped in the middle of the road. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!

"Let me guess!" I told her. "The rest of that verus goes, 'Once we went muddin' down on 'Blue Hole Road (sorry Jason Aldean!) and got lost as we walked through the woods at Rowe. He was a country boy.' Prissy, I can't believe you! Plagiarism is a crime. You can get kicked out of a university for doing it!"
Her feathers started to ruffle and she said haughtily, "I don't even know what that word means."
"It means you stole my work!" By now I knew I wasn't dreaming anymore..I was too mad and upset. I pulled a U-turn right on Harriett Road and started flying back to the house.
"Are you crazy, you're going to kill us!" Prissy screamed. "By the way, I did write that song!"
I laughed out loud, not believing my ears. "You are something else." I told her. "First you want MY husband, then you steal a song that I've got hundred of copies of re-writes on. Heck you weren't even born when I wrote that!"

Hell hath no furry like a Prissy scorned....

                                                                               ...cluck... cluck... chirp... chirp...

No comments:

Post a Comment