Sunday, February 5, 2012

A Death, A Weasel and A Super Bowl

Death Strikes Beloved Chicken Farm on Eve of Super Bowl
Written By: Jack Kelly of the Manhattan World

As the sun peaked over the foothills of southeast Ohio, all seemed like a normal Super Bowl morning to farmer, Dan Shawhan.

"I got home from doing the morning feeding at the dairy and saw that the animals still needed taken care of here at home. My wife has been fighting a cold so I decided to do it for her this morning."

Soon after entering his barn, Shawhan noticed that things were array. "The chickens were agitated and the waterer was overturned. Feathers were everywhere."

Shawhan had just stepped onto the set of his own personal horror movie. Upon entering the chicken coop, several hens fled the scene and movement in the corner of the coop caught his eye. "It was a weasel. I tried to catch him but he was too fast and got away." Had the suspect been caught, Mr. Shawhan would have made a citizen's arrest.

The suspect has been identified as Mr. Weasel and if caught will be found guilty of the murder of Molt Shawhan. Molt was pronounced dead at the scene. The body was found decapated, which is Mr. Weasel's signature trademark. Mr. Weasel will get no trial and will be immediately sentenced to death. A punishment that fits the crime in the eyes of Dan Shawhan.

"It comes at a bad time. We just observed the death of another member of the flock. It was awful telling my wife. She was inconsolable and stayed in bed most of the day."

Credit is due however to Foghorn and Chaz Shawhan. Dan says he observed the roosters standing between the hens and Mr. Weasel. Who knows how long the two stood their ground and defended their ladies in their own home.

A neighbor, Charlie Percheron, was observed looking rather interested in the direction of the coop last evening at around 8 o'clock. Although he did not show signs of being scared, he did seem rather interested, which is out of his character. Perhaps he saw or heard something sneaking it's way over for the deadly visit.

Manhattan World Obituaries

     Molt Shawhan, partner of Foghorn and Chaz Shawhan, loving constituent of Daniel and Rebecca Shawhan, companion of the late Ms. Fluffy Feathers and M.I.A. Shawhan, was found dead in her home February 5, 2012. She has been buried at Manure Memorial Gardens. Memorial contributions may be sent to the Feather Loss Fund of Shawhan Farm, Hillsboro, Ohio. A moment of silence during Super Bowl XLVI will be held in her remembrance. The family asks for privacy during their time of loss.

1 comment:

  1. It's probably a bad thing to say, but you are getting good at writing these obituaries. Let's HOPe this is the last one you have to write though! (Jeff and I are sorry for your loss.)