Friday, July 27, 2012

Valley of the Eggs...


Finally, after weeks without seeing it, Mother Nature gave us some much needed rain last night. Almost two inches fell here at the Shawhan farm. I have already canned 17 pints of green beans; the beans being hit and miss on the plants. We suspect that the bean boom will now be fully underway after getting rain water.

On vacation I read Valley of the Dolls (written by the talented Jacqueline Susann) for the second time in my life. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. The sequel is good too. The day we got home we realized three chickens had discovered how to fly the coop and were in a daily habit of doing so. It's funny since all three were the same breed: the same as Freckles, the beautiful Silver-Laced Wyandottes. You can imagine how easily I came to name them as Anne Cluckwells, Jennifer Clucknorth and Neely O'Cluck. Three beautiful, young friends with the world at their feather tips! Each of them dabbling in the spotlight of fame.

Anne Cluckwells is a reserved bird with a natural beauty and all around CLASS. She felt horrible when I told her that she had broken the rules by flying the coop. She was very mature and an adult about the situation informing me she would accept any consequences for her behavior. She has a lot of money saved up since she's a working girl (even though she doesn't have to work) so she was able to pay her fine with ease.  She has been dating Chicken Hawk Shawhan for some time now, though I'm not sure the pair will last. Chicken Hawk is a known playboy here on the Shawhan farm and is more worldly than Anne Cluckwells. They are complete opposites: Anne is a homebody, despite her jaunts out of Cooptown and Kennel Bar, and Chicken Hawk Shawhan  is seen out on the town every night. (Even on school nights!) I didn't have the heart to tell her that I saw Chicken Hawk canoodling with Neely O'Cluck on the side...

Jennifer Clucknorth was equally shocked that she had broken the rules and also paid her fine with ease. Jennifer Clucknorth is without a doubt the most gorgeous and striking bird you have ever seen. She even has a small part in the stage coop production of Hit the Coop, which opens on August 21. The show is scheduled to run for two weeks. Jennifer explains that it is only a small role, not as big as Neely's, since she, Jennifer, has no talent at all...unless you want to count her foreign films where all she does is cluck French and strut her striking tail feathers! Jennifer had a short affair with Chuck...yes a Beefy Boy believe it or not!... who left her one night standing out in the cold with tears in her eyes as he boarded a trailer, never to be seen again. I consoled her and told her Chuck had to be taken to an institution...I could break her heart and say Chuck was taken to the meat processors...but I don't think she'd be granted solace by letting her visit our freezer either.

Neely O'Cluck was not sorry in the least that she had broke the rules by flying the coop. She said she had every right to since she was a star and had a huge role in Hit the Coop. She kept making threats that she wouldn't be around much longer here on our farm; Hollywood has her number and has offered her a picture deal. Neely is beautiful in her own small, chickish way, but even I can't deny the girl has talent. Other characters in Hit the Coop say Neely is never on-time and throws temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way. They also warned me to keep an eye on Dan since she's a man stealer and stole Chicken Hawk from her own best friend, Anne. They even said Neely pops grubs that eat the toxic weeds in the field, thus making them have drug-like effects on the grub popper. Neely calls them her dolls.

Well only time will tell if Neely sticks around here or strikes it big. In any case, I wish her the best. In the meantime, for all the girls' safety, we took them all to the Shawhan Clip`N`Curl Beauty Salon, and since then, they have all stayed where they should!

                                                                                                ...cluck... cluck... cluck...


  1. I have read Valley of the Dolls many times. That Neely! I just want to shake her!

  2. That book is amazing! Thanks for commenting!