Sunday, March 24, 2013

Innocent Chicks Accused of Being Scabs

Local Chicken Flock Protests Egg Laying Due to "Scabs"
Written By: Jack Kelly of the Manhattan World
  Once again, Dan and Rebecca Shawhan's farm is making local headlines. Dan Shawhan reported that a possible egg-laying strike just might happen on his farm.
"As Vice-President of the company, I have had several complaints from members of both Flocks 1 and 2. They are upset over the arrival of the new chicks." Shawhan reports. Their issues range from fear of over-crowding coop space, one-on-one dates with the roosters, sharing the coveted nest box space with even more laying hens, arguments over treats and even jealousy from the extra attention needed to raise the chicks.
"I have gone through this once already and it is ridiculous!" Says Miss Prissy Cluck Cluck,, a member of Flock 1. "I don't see why we are so great and special one day, and then the next a new group of younger models show up. All the attention is diverted to them. And they EXPECT us to keep working!?"
Currently, tensions are high for both parties. "The hens have already backed down with production." Shawhan said. "I guess some have already begun to protest."
The chickens have not yet officially confirmed a strike as of yet, however, a spokes hen from their party did confirm that there are definite talks of a strike.
One hen did talk to us, but wished to remain anonymous. "Some of us are not currently laying any eggs. We are upset. We can't believe some of us have only been a member of this company for just a year, and already they are brining in "replacements"? It makes us feel as if we aren't good enough. So maybe we aren't. Why lay any eggs then?"
We asked the President of the company the very same question. She responded, "Why shouldn't they lay eggs for us? I can tell you why. The price of chicken has gone up considerably at the grocery store. That is exactly why! The hens know is written out in their contracts. They also know that each spring we hire on new employees. We are very lucky to do this as a company due to the economical situation of the United States. However, due to that same economical state, we will not stand for non-working birds. Once that happens with any employee, they get retirement in the freezer."
The threat has had no impact on the working flock. According to our anonymous source: "At this point we are so mad that we don't care. It's probably just threats anyway. More than likely a full-blown strike will be in place by June. That is when the scabs will have to cross our picket line. And we will use violence if necessary."
Shawhan also feels a full strike is on the horizon. "We found this the other day in Kennel Bar. Looks like the girls are getting ready for the picket line."
As this story went to print, no resolutions have been made. The Manhattan World plans to follow any new updates about this story.


  1. Too funny, keep up the creative work.
    Judy Fender