Forty Days and Forty Clucks

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

"The waters swelled and increased greatly on the earth; and the ark floated on the face of the waters. The waters swelled so mightily on the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered." (The Holy Bible New Revised Standard Edition, Gen. 7:18-19)

 

  On Friday, when the monsoon that dumped all over southern Ohio began, I slopped down to the barn with a load of work on my mind. Stalls were going to need cleaned out, bedding was going to have to be put down, water buckets filled, hay racks, eggs collected, etc. etc., etc.,. Boy was I ever glad that the frozen weather and all it's extra work was FINALLY gone, only to be replaced with the extra work that comes along with monsoon season.

 

  Anyhoo, as I got closer to my destination, I heard a ruckus coming from the kennel area...none like I've ever heard before. Instead of the usual beqacking, I heard hammers driving nails into boards, hand saws pumping away and a male voice shouting out orders.

 

  "More nails! Second shift needs more nails! Don't hold the saw that way! You wanna lose a wing?! No! Not like that! Here! I might as well build this whole thing myself!"

 

  When I went through the barn's doorway I stopped short and my mouth fell open. I rubbed my eyes. I pinched myself. There, laboring away like a bunch of little minions, my chicken flock was constructing an ark in the middle of Kennel Bar!

 

  "What on earth are you doing?!" I screeched.

 

  With my surprised interruption, all work ceased. Yellow beaks turned towards me and starred. What remained of each individual flock were all grouped together and obviously working on certain projects. Flock 1 had rolls of blue prints spread before them, Flock 2 was busy sawing away, Flock 3 was frozen in place with hammers suspended up in midair. Goliath's size was being put to good use as a big two by four was on his back and it looked like he was being used to carry boards back and forth. And up on the old feed trough used for roosting in the Kennel area was Chicken Hawk with my Bible laid open in his wings.

 

 He blinked and looked down at the book then back up at me. "It says here there is going to be a flood. I feel this is it. The big one." His wing feather jabbed at the page.

 

  "The flood in that book already happened." I told him. A collective "Whhhaaattt?" came from the minions, who all together looked up at Hawk.

 

   He sputtered for a time (Hawk is not used to insubordination) before he was able to collect himself to form a retort. "But it says, 'For my part, I am going to bring a flood of waters on the earth, to destroy from under heaven all flesh in which is the breath of life.'" Hawk took a shuddering breath before continuing. " 'Everything that is on the earth shall die.' (Gen. 6:17) " He slapped the Bible closed and pointed to the corner of Kennel Bar closest to the coop. "See! It begins already!"

 

 I followed his wing and cringed. True, the kennel was beginning to flood:

 

So was the barn aisle way itself, though the pictures don't do it justice:

The back of the barn, since the genius who built it set it at the bottom of a sloping driveway:

I glanced down at my booted feet, feeling them sink in as I stood there.

"Look," I said. "I can see where you might get that impression. Channel 9 says the rain will move out by tomorrow afternoon. And anyway, that flood has already happened. You don't need to worry about it anymore."

 

  Hawk's face fell. Then, as if mustering up a last ditch effort for a fight he said, "How do you know it won't happen again? Maybe the next flood will be even bigger!" This exclamation made the minions gasp in unison. Goliath let out a scream like a woman and dropped his two by four.

 

  I snickered in spite of myself. It was a funny noise coming from such a large bird. I cleared my throat. "Chicken Hawk. It's obvious you haven't read that whole story-"

 

 "How dare you accuse me!"

 

  "Look!" I shouted, then continued on in a voice I used in the classrooms I subbed in B.C.. "All you birds are old enough to have seen the rainbows we've seen around here! Maybe you should read the rest of that story."

 

 Again, Hawk sputtered and hopped around, flustered and aggravated as all get out. My big old white biddy from Flock 1 ambled over and ripped the book from his wings.

 

 She took a deep breath and cleared her gullet. When she spoke her voice was loud and clear. " 'I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.' God said to Noah, 'This is the sign of the covenant that I have established between me and all flesh that is on the earth. (Gen. 9:15-17)'"

 

  After the reading, you couldn't hear a pin drop in that barn...well, ok we heard the rain pounding on the metal roof, but that was about it.

 

  "Everything will be fine." I reassured them all, but mainly to Hawk, who stood with his head down and his shoulders slumped. I felt bad that I had made a public display of proving him wrong.

 

  The next afternoon when the rain had stopped and the sun had come out, me, Dan and Carl ventured outside to burn off the energy of a little boy. I saw Hawk out in the steer lot basking in the glow of the sun. When our eyes met, we just nodded to one another, a silent exchange of respect and went back to our business.

 

 

The Holy Bible New Revised Standard Edition.  Nashville: Graded Press, 1990.



New Beginnings

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

Spring is here!!!!! Oh yeah, and so are our new chicks!

 

 There are new beginnings all around us. For starters, on Saturday we traveled up to Columbus to meet our new nephew, Andrew. I was amazed at how small he was! Though born at a healthy 7 pounds, I guess in my mind I was expecting to meet someone more Carl's size. (Funny how you get used to what you have...) Dan and I were really expecting some jealous behavior out of Carl when he saw us holding another baby, but I think he's still too young to care. Either that or cousin Rory's toys were more interesting.

 

  After our long drive home, there was still enough daylight left to enjoy some time outside. We all headed down the driveway to the barn so Dan could get the brooder cleaned out before the chicks' arrival the following day. (I can't tip the brooder over by myself and plus mice live in there over the winter, and I don't deal with those!) As I was standing in the doorway to the barn, I noticed the change in the sunlight streaming in above me and hitting the bales of the straw in the loft. I noticed a change in the air. It was here. Spring. Winter was gone.

 

  I felt as if I had woken up after having a really bad stomach flu; the type where you go to sleep feeling sick then wake up the next day feeling so much better, your insides finally at peace. Or like when you know a fever has broken. That was what it was. The winter fever was gone. There was warmth behind the breeze, not cold. The heat off the sun was winning the battle!

 

  The same feelings were with us again yesterday as we went to the feed store and brought home our 20 reinforcements! Yes, 20 new chicks can now call the Shawhan farm home! We got 10 more Golden Comets, 5 Buckeyes (not sure what those will amount to, but I love trying new breeds) and 5 Black Australorps (we had some of these in Flock 1).

 

  We got the chicks at a new place this year, though it is owned and operated by the feed mill that we always go to get our chicks. I have to be honest and say I was a little disappointed this year. Usually the chicks are in smaller boxes on the floor, not so high that Carl wouldn't be able to look in on his own. I had to hold him and have him peer down in the feed trough. Though he let out a few "OOHHH"s, he mainly struggled in my grasp and I had the walk him around the store while others picked out my birds. I was a little bummed I didn't get to do that myself, but oh well.

 

  Yesterday afternoon was spent settling in the chicks and wiping a few butts. I'm pretty confident there are few birds who will grow up to hate me. It's not the right foot to start off on for a good business relationship.

 

   I'm excited to see the new birds grow and to have a little boy's help this year! I'm excited to see winter go and have the door hit it in the butt on the way out! My Easter decorations are up, laundry is drying on the line and I spotted the daffodil and tulip shoots coming up out of the ground yesterday. I have a new nephew and also a new baby cousin. After the doldrums of this past winter, I was in need of some new beginnings.

Terms of Endearment

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

   Is winter over yet?! One can only think and wish and hope and pray that this last little blast of snow we had this morning will be IT until next year. It feels as if Old Man Winter just cannot release his icy grip on us this year. Thankfully, we have been relieved several times of the cold and snow with teaser days of warmer temperatures, but sometimes I think breaking it up like that makes it even worse. (Kind of like when I was running track; in some workouts we were allowed to walk in between our running for breaks. Those days were always harder than the straight running workouts.)

 

  Anyhoo, even if the thermometer outside was reading ZERO, I was witness to the heat rising  in Kennel Bar yesterday...

 

  As it was a Saturday morning on the Shawhan farm yesterday, I was up and at em' long before dawn taking my shift at the in-law's dairy farm. I got back home around seven a.m. and then proceeded to take care of our own critters before going inside to warmth and food. (I'm usually starving by this point!) I dump Jimmy and Charlie's grain outside, then let them out - as they are starving by this time too and like to tell me by kicking at the gates - so while they are stuffing their faces, I take them out some hay too. Next, I climb the ladder to the loft and throw some hay down for the Beefy Boys (we have 8 now), then I let the chickens out.

 

  Since I was already bundled up and everything up mu nose had already disintegrated into nothing, I take the opportunity to get the days barn work done. This mainly consists of cleaning out the stalls, banging the water buckets on the ground to get all the ice out and restock the hay racks.

 

  As I was scooping frozen fecal balls from Jimmy's stall, I was surprised when I looked over and saw that some of the chickens had voluntarily left the coop and ventured out into the cold morning air. As my eyes took in the entire kennel area, I noticed one of our roosters, Goliath, standing by the bars with a Comet hen. It was the just the two of them. They were clearly having "a moment". The hen was preening the feathers around Goliath's neck and he was just standing there enjoying himself. Goliath is a huge bird (hence his name) and the difference in the sexes this picture painted was a clear as day. Goliath stood a good two or three inches above the hen's head and his body made hers look like a drop in a bucket. As I stood there watching, the hen kept at him and he kept standing there allowing her to continue her menstruations. During this whole time, no other bird approached them.

 

  It was a sweet scene...I felt like an intruder watching it and it went on for quite some time. Of course coming from the dairy I didn't have my camera ready to whip out and get all paparazzi on them. Their clear affection for one other during this time made me wonder if chickens have a mating time...like where the male courts the female, or maybe even vice versa. Do hens come into heat? Sure they lay eggs whether there is a rooster in the flock or not, but does that happen during their cycle? Honestly, from what I've seen over the past few years, I'd be surprised if hens with a rooster are allowed to come into heat....usually the roosters are pretty "on top" of that situation (pun indented. They also make 50 Shades of Grey look G-Rated, though I couldn't tell you for 100% sure since I haven't read the book.) Or is all the preening and sweet nothings in the ear just a poultry social custom? Was I so starved by this point that I was hallucinating?

 

  Perhaps I have some research to do if a certain little boy would ever allow me the time.

 

  I finished the chores and left the chickens to be themselves touched by the gentle scene that warmed my heart on a cold winter's morning. 

Super Easy (and Good!) Sweet and Sour Chicken

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

  I have a confession to make...or at least I have to state this confession again...I'm a terrible chicken owner! I say this because I love chicken! As much I love my birds; their beauty, humor, creative juices they spark within me, their gossipy chatter, erratic behaviors, the way they drive me insane sometimes and of course, their eggs, I just can't deny how much I love to eat chicken. (Not my own! The already dead ones found frozen solid or pre-packaged in the grocery store.) If someone told me I could only eat either chicken or beef for the rest of my life and I had to choose, I would definitely pick the chicken.

 

 I'M SORRY GIRLS!

 

  During my last grocery trip, I stumbled along this package among the Kroger shelves:

 

They say never to grocery shop hungry, but yours truly didn't heed that advice. The thought of sweet and sour chicken over a bed of rice made my mouth water. Plus the fact this was going to make a super fast and super easy dinner had me sold on the product. I tossed the package in my cart and made a mental note to pick up an extra box of rice.

 

  There are multiple reasons why I'm posting and bragging on this sauce. One of them is because the only other ingredients you need are the chicken and vegetable oil. (Plus maybe some rice, mushrooms, or any other additions that sound yummy to you.) Personally, I love a meal that doesn't require 100 different ingredients, or that calls for that rare component I'll use only a little bit of and never use again. (I'll let you in on a little secret...we here at Shawhan farm are not adventurous foodies by a long shot! Meat and potatoes please!)

 

  Anyhoo, if anyone needs a quick and easy meal idea, this is a good one to try! Another reason I really liked this was because the list of ingredients wasn't that long and I could actually pronounce all of them! Because of this, I was going to let Carl try some of it too, though I didn't have high hopes on that front...I was right too. He tried some of it but didn't eat much.

 

  All you do is heat the oil in the skillet, add the chicken (which, ok, I cheated and bought already cut up chicken breasts!) and cook until the chicken is done.

  While that got going, I put in two bags of Boil-N-A Bag white rice (I'm so healthy, I know) and let those cook for the directed 10 minutes.

 

  Once the chicken is cooked through, you simply add the package of sauce and let that cook for an additional 5 minutes.

  And Ta-Da! A simple, warm meal for a snowy night!

 

  I sorta stopped taking pictures at this point...Dan came home, Carl was underfoot and needing things (you can see his half eaten banana above hahaha!) Ahhh dinner at our house is usually a goat rodeo.

 

 It made enough so we are able to have the leftovers tonight and I saved Carl's bowl hoping me might be more adventurous today than he was yesterday, though I'm not holding my breath.

 

  At any rate, I'll definably be buying this Campbell's skillet sauce again. It was Chicken Lady approved!

Farm Show!!!

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

  Yesterday Dan I got home from our annual visit to Louisville, Kentucky and the National Farm Machinery Show. It was also my very first time away from Carl all night, in like, ever! As we left the little guy in good hands (grandma's and pappy's to be exact) I was able to enjoy myself, snag a lot of freebies and people watch until my hearts content! But that still didn't mean that I didn't miss my little boy like crazy!

 

  As this was a kids-free trip, Dan and I caught up on our Rodney Carrington listening as soon as we got into our suddenly quiet car. A few exits from Louisville, we ate a quick lunch before reaching the show. I tell you this because within the first half hour of being at the show I had stuffed my purse full of candy that every single booth offers, tried a shot of this flax seed magic potion that cures women's health issues from cancer to hot flashes and donated $1 to the Kentucky FFA so that I could get a bag of freshly popped popcorn which had been provided by - GASP! - Monsanto!

 

 GMO or no, those peeps make some darn good popcorn!

 

 As I sat in the booth with other ladies whose husbands where talking like Dan, who was in deep discussion with a sales rep about the new grain dryer and where/how they were going to fit it within their existing grain bins, scarfing this amazing popcorn, watching the amazing people walking by in their various fashion statements, it dawned on me that I was eating my emotions! The Taco Bell, candy and popcorn helped to numb my emotions of being away from my child... After this realization, I tried to focus on getting as many free reusable bags as possible and this year I believe I succeeded in bringing home more than any other year!

 

 Other farm show highlights included in sitting in a BLUE tractor...

 Getting my picture taken with this hottie at the GEA booth (it's a dairy thing):

 

And watching the talking stalk of  ragweed at the Syngenta Seeds booth. This guy creped me out a little. He reminded me of the wicked witch of the west in The Wizard of Oz. I think he could have auditioned for a role in Wicked.

 

This show is geared more towards farm machinery and equipment than it is about livestock, so I can't report a lot of the chicken front in this post. I searched high and low, but I really didn't see anything that had to do with chickens except for these publications that I picked up. 

 The livestock convention (I believe) is held in November and I really want to try and make it this year.

 

  Carl did great on his night away and thanks to all the amazing food and our dinner at Tumbleweed, I was able to keep down my anxieties of the first night away from my baby!

 

 Of course when we got back into the car with Carl he decided to remind us how loud he can be in small confined spaces...

How Do You Do? Talon Hawkins To You!

CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

   More than one time I have been outside and walked past this fence row and have spotted a hawk perched upon the post. Fully knowing that hawks are known predators to chickens, my first thought is, 'Oh cool! A hawk!'. (How traitorous am I?) My second thought is replaying all the gory details of the disemboweled chickens found on my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's property from their dealings with hawks. Maybe I really should be concerned....

 

  Well,  I was finally able to have a little chat with the hawk that comes and rests his wings on our fence post. Since it was such a warm, Spring-teasing type of day, Dan, Carl and I ventured outside after church and lunch. It was one of those days where you got a lot of stuff done, like cleaning out the chicken coop, washing the cars and cutting the bottoms off of barn doors...the types of things you do on Spring-teasing types of days.

 

  As Dan sawed and Carl played with rocks and puddles, I suddenly remembered I had to put a roast in the crock pot for dinner. Jogging up the driveway, I looked over and saw a serious looking bird -in what was that? a top hat?? - perched on the fence post, starring out in the direction of the horse pasture. I stopped and blinked, thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me, but no - that was definitely a top hat! Knowing this was more important than dinner, I changed my course of direction and walked across the yard, the wind whipping my hair into my face.

 

 "Hello?" I called. "Can I help you?"

 

  "Oh! Yes, yes, hullo!" He responded in another shocker - a British accent!

 

 "Hi." I said, dumbfounded.

 

  "Beautiful day isn't it? I just love this kind of weather."

 

  "Me too. Er, who are you?" I asked, taking in his suit vest, tiny bow-tie and rimless glasses.

 

  "Oh, my, where are my manners?" He cleared his throat, removed his top hat and gave what I'm assuming was a bow...not much room to work with when you are that small. "My name is Talon Hawkins, how do you do?"

 

  "Um...I'm good. My name is Rebecca." I said, feeling really stupid. Was I really speaking to a bird?? AND having trouble finding something to say? I had successfully crossed the line from weird and had gone into Looser-Ville.

 

  Shaking my head, I had to ask. "Are you hear to eat my chickens?"

 

  Talon Hawkins took a couple of jumps backwards sputtering.

 

  A wave of guilt washed over me. "I'm sorry!" I was quick to say. "It's just, I've seen you here before and I know for a fact that hawks love chicken."

 

  Seeming to recover his decorum, Mr. Hawkins put a wing over his chest and cleared his throat. "I accept your apology. As a responsible chicken owner, you have every right to have the best interest in mind for your birds. I cannot lie to a lady! I was indeed debating on picking off one of your fowl for a Sunday snack."

 

   I gasped in terror thinking of Macho, a little bantam rooster belonging to the in-laws who met a gruesome and violent death by the talons of a hawk. Is this what happened to my beloved Fumm? As far as I know, (knock on wood) none of our chickens have been attacked by a hawk. That is why Mr. Hawkins' presence has never really bothered me before.

 

  "Have you snacked on chickens in this area before?" I asked, wanting some kind of justice for little Macho.

 

  "No, I swear it. I am just passing through on my way to Indiana to visit relations. I heard the squawking of your birds and my tummy growled. I am so hungry and I have traveled so far." The sun reflected off his spectacles as he looked at me.

 

  "Well, it's not very nice to eat other people's chickens." I told him, much like I would scold my own child.

 

  He put his head down. "I know. I am terribly sorry. I just can't help but love the taste of chicken, however. I am most fond of the tender dark meat, as it melts in your mouth with that succulent flavor..."

 

  As Mr. Hawkins continued to describe the flavor of chicken in minute detail, my own stomach began to growl. I thought of the frozen chicken legs in the freezer destined to be fried in my skillet one of these days. I thought about the Combo #1 from Chick-fil-A yesterday, and how good that chicken sandwich is with a Cherry Coke. Then there was the Burger King chicken sandwich I had for lunch, and goodness, I've had too much fast food this weekend!

 

Food! My roast! If I didn't get that thing in the crock pot so it could cook for several hours, we were going to be eating fast food again tonight!

 

  "Look, I really need to be going." I said, cutting into his descriptions. "Can I get you some bread or anything? Anything besides my chickens?"

 

  "No, no, thank you anyway. I have a gluten allergy. I need to be off myself. I need to try and make headway while the weather is so nice. Sorry to have given you a scare. I'll leave your chickens alone. Good day! Good day!"

 

  And with that, Talon Hawkins took flight and flew away.

 

  I scratched my head on the way back to the house, asking myself if I really did just have a conversation with a hawk? And if so, was that well-spoken old chap really a brute and viscous killer of chickens? 

 

  Going inside and to my roast, I really hoped he wasn't and wished him a safe journey to his Indiana destination.

"Chantecler!!!!!"

 CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK!!!

 

   For the past couple of months, Carl and I have been attending story time for kids Carl's age at our local library. Hillsboro doesn't have a whole lot of variety (not even a Chick-fil-A or a Target!) but thank the Heavens above, it does come equipped with a library! Nothing beats the smell of old binding, the lullaby of pages softly turning and the familiar comfort that engulfs your soul as you walk into a room that is floor to ceiling with books. (I would have stayed with the Beast too in Beauty and the Beast if he would have had that library!)

 

  Anyhoo, the downstairs of the Hillsboro library is dedicated to children with their shrieks of laughter (and anger) and the noisy symphony that accompanies the music box and half a dozen toddlers. This place has been great for Carl and I; we are meeting new people, enjoying new activities and we have a consistent accessibility to new reading materials. No more wondering when we are getting to the library and renewing books over the internet, nope, it's a pretty safe bet we'll be most every week with our book bag of new and read books.

 

  Carl loves books! If he inherits anything from me, I hope it's the love of books. He can sit for a long time just happily flipping through the pages. Not a day goes by that we don't read several books. It didn't take long for me to become tired of reading the ones we have here at home, though I'm waiting for the day when Carl knows them by heart and tells me when I skip a page or even a word, and so I'm loving the constant interchange of new reading materials.

 

  After story time, I usually follow Carl throughout the stacks and grab an armful of books here and there. He has gotten to love sitting at the small table by the checkout counter that is loaded down with fun puzzles while I hand over my library card.

 

  This particular week, without even looking at the cover of the book in my arms, we stumbled across this tale, Chanticleer and the Fox, which was adopted from The Canterbury Tales. Although it was originally a work by Geoffrey Chaucer (all hail the King of literary genius!), as I read the words to our dear boy who can't quite grasp the lesson of the tale, it reminded me of something we would find in Aesop's Fables. It also reminded of the 1991 movie, Rock-A-Doodle and the Elvis-like main character, "Chantecler".

 

  Do you know that "Chantecler" is not just a name dreamt up by old man with a quill pen or an Elvis impersonating bird? Nope, there really IS a Chantecler chicken breed. The Chantecler originates from the Quebec Province of Canada, which up until the birth of the breed, Canada did not have any chickens to say they hailed from their country. In deciding the traits of the Chantecler breed, the bird had to be able to tolerate the cold winters. The Chantecler chicken for this reason, has nearly no wattles at all and a very small comb, making it harder for the bird to get frostbite. Other characteristics of the breed include a gentle nature and it makes a good meat bird, no matter the chicken's age. (They are also known for egg production.)

 

  The name "Chantecler" means 'to sing' ("Chanter") and 'bright' ("clair"). Perhaps this is why a Chantecler became the main character to don the Elvis hairdo and rock out in a children's movie!

 

  The story of Chanticleer and the Fox is a little lengthy, but good medieval children's literature that I was happy to fall upon. After all, we usually do seem to grab the books with the farm animals on the cover!

 

 

The Livestock Conservancy. 1 Feb. 2015 http://www.thelivestockconservancy.org/index/php/heritage/internal/chantecler.